vrijdag 21 december 2012

I survived the newest end of times

Here I am again!

To pick up the thread: I did start courses to become a nursery-class teacher in September. Also, I switched schools from Leuven to Mechelen. Now I lose much less time with commuting! :) Still I doubt about my study direction choice, but probably I would do that at every direction I could follow.

The past weeks I had almost every Thursday a internship. Most of them were fun, but as we got more activities to prepare I started to have more difficulties to accomplish them all. Especially the written part of my preparations wasn't always finished. I procrastinated a lot so I had to work very late in the nights before Thursday. I wonder if I have become lazy or just plain demotivated ... I like the kids, that's not the problem. Though I am a disappointed I can't study something that's connected to my field of interest, biology. (I fear the theory would be too difficult) Well, I'll try to become nursery-class teacher and see how far I get in the end.

School: Thomas More

As I changed schools, I had to build up again connections with a huge group of people. (my class counted sixty students in September) I made some classmates and it gets easier to make contact with people I don't know well which I see as a confirmation of the social progress I made the past school year. Though I should be a bit more careful because I have the nasty habit of saying straight what I think. It was quite interesting to see how people influence and form groups with each other.

The relationship some people outside school (for example my mother) has become rather difficult. I don't know how to deal with these people at the moment.

Ten days ago I saw Zornik at the Depot in Leuven with a former classmate. I just realised it was the third time I attended an act by this band, which is actually a coincidence.
I was very pleased by their performance! ^^ It was the first time I saw Zornik in a venue and never heard them play acoustic before. I should attend concerts more often. I wish to hear a concert by Epica, but the next scheduled date in Belgium is at a festival, Graspop. Oh well, probably they will visit Belgium again another time. :)



Also I bought the computer game: Alice the madness returns. It has been almost ten years since I played a recent game, so it's very impressive to see how beautiful it is! (too bad I didn't have much time to play past weeks)


Fighting against a steampunkish teapot! Those bastards kill me EVERY time!

Completely random: currently I am starting to become very fond of the colour pink. :3 And the current fashion with the sequins makes my eyes shiny. ^^

That's about it, next time I post an update the new year has probably reached far! ;)






vrijdag 31 augustus 2012

I am still alive!
What happened in the past months?

Last time I forgot to mention that during April I went to see Emilie Autumn and Anathema. I enjoyed both concerts a lot!

Author: unknown
source: http://www.peek-a-boo-magazine.be/











Author: unknown
Source: http://www.progarchives.com

















Most important: I decided which courses I want to follow!
Nursery-class teacher it will be.
I visited a nursery-class teacher to get some more information from "the field" and it sounded good. :)
Tough after the past year I am still in doubt whether I am able to achieve a Bachelor. I am not exceptionally bright or talented, and always had to work hard for school. Also, I consider changing school. The past year I studied at Heverlee (near Leuven) and the commuting was very harsh in combination with my sleeping problems. The train connection to Mechelen is apparently better from the village where I live. (I didn't want to study at Mechelen first because I have a bad impression of the city and the school at Heverlee has a better reputation)

I participated during the exams in June and my results were not good, but okay.

Somewhere during May I listened to a  song by Siouxsie and the Banshees and surprisingly I liked it. A week later I wanted to listen to The Cure. Which was all a bit strange because I am not into post-punk or new wave. Of course I listened to several songs in the past, but they just didn't feel "right" to me. I listen different genres of music, but I prefer metal the most. Anyway, I ended up liking The Cure too and by coincidence they were headlining the first day of the festival Rock Werchter. (very close to my home)
Aaaannnnnddd it turned out we had a spare ticket for that day in our family! =)
I saw several acts, but in general I liked the performance by Within Temptation the most. (which is also strange because I ever swore to myself I would never go to a paying performance by them) The Cure actually disappointed me a bit because the band was so static and in the middle of the performance it became a bit "boring". Though I enjoyed it a lot and the band played for almost two hours!(which is probably the reason of the "gap" in the middle of the performanc) Overall I was satisfied with my day. ^^

I learned two tings that day:
1) not all British people are as kind and polite as those I met in London.
[actually the couple I met was SO rude, they kind of spoiled my experience during the act of The Cure...]

2) The panic attacks I experience regularly when I've pushed myself to attend a "social event" are possibly not caused because of the presence of many people.
[I couldn't find anyone to accompany me at the festival, so I went alone. Not one panic attack occurred. I don't understand myself anymore.]

Sharon den Adel from Within Temptation
Robert Smith from The Cure



















I took advantage of the summer holiday to try a new small hair experiment which had to involve purple! I had to change my plans several times because I found the risk to mess up my hair too high or the right dye wasn't available. At the end I bleached at each side a hair lock near my ear and some ends. I dyed the locks at my ears with Violet by Directions. Too bad I couldn't dye more purple into my hair, but I didn't want to risk having to change my hair for coming internships. Though I  am very satisfied by the results! ^^
(no pictures... Yet?)

At the beginning of July I went on holiday for two weeks to France. I was the one who suggested that destination to my family because after nine years of education I liked to hear French spoken by natives. The holiday was okay, but nothing can beat Great Britain last year. :p During this holiday I had my twentieth birthday, which I still can't realise fully. XD
I got a bike for my birthday! ^^

Then it was almost August and I had to study for my re-exams, which I failed at because of demotivation. This was already the second series of exams I participated at while I know I will quit this study.... (In Belgium we have a very complicated system involving study points, which you need to start a study and I would lose points for each exam I didn't succeed)
My re-exams are finished.

I have still two weeks of holiday to go! :D That's more than I thought!


Greetings



zaterdag 19 mei 2012

Gathered by mices III

Hi there!
I decided to publish the link to my blog, or rather diary, online. This means that I might have to create somewhere else a blog for my more private stuff.

As I feared my internship courses went very bad and afterwards I decided to quit my education as a secondary school teacher. (tough I still have to succeed for most of coming exams) Which brings my to the question which courses I will follow coming school year?
I would like to work with children (like 5-12 years old) and/or have a caring function. Primary school teacher was my back-up plan, but I am in doubt if I would succeed those studies. Also the job seems very stressful and I perform bad under long term high pressure. Not to forget my biggest current problem is the "teaching itself", to remind which questions I have to pose.

Another option is nursery-class teacher wich is stressful too but I think I might handle the stress better in those circumstancers. Besides I already gained a bit experience with four to five year olds at the playground. My doubts are if I am "creative enough"? (puppet show, bringing a play, singing and playing a flute are not my cup of tea!)
And I can't imagine how I would find activities to fill a schoolyear for the three year olds. They seem capable of so little and have to go to the bathroom like every two hours... Last thing is if I would find a job with this degree. As far I could inform vacancys vary by regio's but the situation in my regio isn't clear to me.

I consider to study nursery-class teacher because:
it's a job which gives satisfaction,
 I can work with/ take care of children,
(most of) the kids appreciate your work,
I like to create tinkerings with the kids,
 it's definetily not a boring job, ....

Thirth consideration is orthopedagogy. I checked the studybooks by an accuintance and the difficulty seems achievable. The content of the jobs with this degree varies, so that's not so clear to me, but what I heard sounded okay to fine. Minus points: schools who afford this study are quite far away, my father doesn't support this option, it might be physically heavy and I am not so strong and it might be mentally heavy too.

I am still thinking about what I should do.

zaterdag 21 april 2012

Gathered by mices II

20 february 2012

Hello, it's really time to update this online diary!
So, what happend the past weeks?

I got my exam results, about which I can't be too exicted. When I look back my study method was so horrible that my results couldn't be good. At least I passed two of the four and I believe I will succeed when I retake them in the summer. :) Also I had my observation internship (I also taught little pieces) and it went not that bad. Within two weeks I will teach my very first whole lessons to real pupils. I wonder what will happen... :p

No idea why everyone dyed their hair red few months ago, after I decided to dye mine purple within a half year. XD I went for it and now I have a dark hair with a purple shine in it. (I didn't intended it to be bright)

I am not sure why, but since a few days I feel quite happy! :D

Maybe it has to do with the progress I made in my "socialising project"? :)
If I compare to a year ago I can now:
- make contact with strangers if I am in a known environnement. Without thinking about it I approached almost all new classmates which entered my classes during the past semester and spontaneously I continue like this! :D
- say "hi" to all my classmates when I pass them and I can see most of them appreciate this
- some people start talking to me spontaneously

21 april 2012
My two internship lessons went bad. I nearly failed both lessons. To be honest I am losing a my courage to continue my courses. A year ago I thought I would never say this. I still have my pharmacy assistent grade fortunately. Since the beginning of this schoolyear I barely created any task I am happy about (or my teachers are satisfied about). My second option is to study for primary school teacher, but I expect this won't be easy at all too. Coming tuesday and wednesday I'll try to teach my third and fouth internship lessons, which are my last internship chances. I don't have faith I'll do it well. Currently I feel a bit down, so I am going to quit the Blogger universe for tonight.

Good night