Well, yet again some time has passed since my latest blog. A lot has changed. Last year in April I quit my studies as a nursery-class teacher. Because I felt I would fail. I stayed at home for a month and then I started to work for a few months. In September I started a one year course to become a dentist assistant. Right now the end of the school year is approaching and I am for 99% sure I will obtain my degree. I am happy that I also have a degree as a pharmacy assistant. Probably I will start first as a dentist assistant and then I still can choose which job I prefer.
My doubts about what I should do with my life are still present. There are some decisions I know I should urgently make. Though I can't bring up the courage to do so. Last year I made a lot of personal progress and I was very happy (despite the worrying whet ether I would be able to finish my courses). During September I became much more closed again. I feel a bit stuck right now.
Sometimes I wish my life and my personality were more like that of an average student. I used to be fine with being a "odd person" with "strange" interests and "different" clothing. Now I start to notice how superficial and empty I come across to other people. I don't dare to tell about the things I am interested about, because I fear their judgment and that I will bore them. That's why I only talk about subjects like the weather, school, about things which are important for the other person,... I believe I might make people uncomfortable if I would talk about gender diversity, books, films and series which aren't " "mainstream" ",...
On the bright side: I saw the band which made me become interested in music! Lordi is glam rock band which won the Eurovision contest in 2006. Their stageoutfits and the show are based on eighties horrormovies. They were my springboard to metal. So basically the band influences my music taste for nearly eight years. The concert was awesome! I am SO happy I saw them live! : D
While performing "They only come out at night"
Also I reconciled with an acquaintance. I still believe the way he acted towards me is unacceptable. But altogether I prefer not end our relationship while having arguments.
Lately I started thinking about moving out. I probably won't do it during the next twelve months, though it's a relieve to think somewhere in the next few years I will get a place of my own. Hopefully somewhere quiet.
I wonder what life has in store for me the next three years.
